Looking through the past, Living during the present, Looking towards the future

Have you ever just sat back and looked at the decisions you have made in life? I did that just the other day, and being just shy of 20 years old, things are almost EXACTLY where I wanted them to be when I wrote my "dreams" down in a pink journal my gramma gave me for my 16th birthday. Only thing is, college is on hold and I am not married yet... which is fine. On the other hand, I wrote that by my 20th birthday, I wanted to have a job, be out of my parent's house and indepedent, find  wonderful man that keeps me on my toes, and let loose a little more. I have completed all of those. Well, not quite there on the independent stuff...it'll get there. Though I never would have imagined I would have found a man like Jerry.(I'm going to be mushy for a minute-bear with me...lol)- Though we have our fights and our differences, I have never met anyone who can make me smile just by looking at me. He is definitely my rock. Ever since I was 3-4 years old, I wanted to go on Supermarket Sweeps(old game show that came on before Jeopardy-don't judge me!) and find a Hubband....Well,the show got cancelled by the time I was 9, so that was a bust. However, I wasn't giving up on the hubband...I do believe I have found him, but with him, I have to be patient. He is not quite ready to become a married man. SideNote-I believe marriage, to most men, is the number one scariest thing they will ever do. It's a committment not easily broken. I, too, am not quite ready to get married, but knowing me, if he asked tomorrow, we all know what my answer would be! And kids!!!! At 16, I wanted 8 kids(was I on crack?) Named Abigail Melissa, Madelyn Rose, Andrew Brynn, Matthew James, Ezekial Alexander, Josephine Marie, Evan Michael, and Jessica Kate. Now- It's 3 kids(maybe) named Mason Cole(per Jerry), Erin Lynne and Jessalyn Lavonne(jerry's gma who raised him). Though I know I may have more than one son, or no sons...I have particularily become fond on the name Kyrian...... I often wonder what it would be like to wake up every day, with Jerry as my husband and kids jumping on the bed waking mommy and daddy up...that's my dream right now. I dream the same dream almost every night....I wake up, make breakfast, sit at the table in the dining room and look around, there's Jerry at the head of the table, 2 small kids sitting at the table, (i cant ever tell what they are because it's a blur) and I'm pregnant with our third. Cryxis joined the dream when we got him. It's like my subconscious sees my everyday life and then mixes it in with the reality I someday want. It's weird, but it is the most amazing dream I have ever dreamed. I cannot wait for it to come true. All in good time.... Presently, Jerry and I have only talked about kids a handful of times. We both agree nows not the best time. Though we do want kids eventually...Cryxis will do for now! I just thought I would put that little bit up here..still looking through the rest