Torn between 2 feelings.........

Well, I am going back to work. I possibly have a job at a new daycare will continue to work there for a while....Logan will start going with me when Jerry resumes college classes in January. I am a little apprehensive about going back to work. First time didn't end so well, even though I have been substitute teaching since Logan was 1 1/2. I am blessed to have been able to spend the first couple years of Logan's life at home, watching all of his firsts:) Heck, he is even potty trained WAYYYY before Jerry and I envisioned him being potty trained. He is incredibly smart and very responsive to EVERYTHING! He's very gentle and loving, always willing to help mommy clean or cook. I know this will help ease our financial troubles and get us to where we can live on our own, I just still feel a little bit torn. I know he will be fine. He LOVES to be with other kids and I am going to be in the next room. I can see him anytime....and the joy is Logan will be with me.
 It's gonna be an adjustment but hopefully I can make it easily, as well as Logan and Jerry and We can begin rebuilding our lives again.

 We are blessed beyond measure at the amount of love and support our family gives us. Not many parents are willing to open their house for an unknown period of time to let their daughter's family move in. My parents have gone above and beyond anything I have ever dreamed to help us out. Jerry's grandmother as well! I know with these three people helping us become better spouses and parents, we are going to head in the right direction:)

Terrible Twos? Where??? LOL

I constantly have to remind myself that my son is really only 2 years old. He's completely potty trained(OH Yes!!!!) and he pretty much self-handles everything! The baby I once had has turned into a boy and I am excited yet sad to see him grow up. Our next step is taking clothes off and on by himself LOL. He has learned colors Red, Blue, Green, Yellow, Black and Brown, Letters A, B and C and Numbers 1 and 2. We began introducing shapes today, which was a Circle- I drew one for him to see and gave him the marker to try----First circle he has ever drawn and he EXCELLED!!! Maybe I am a little biased as he is my son:) But I have a feeling I have a genius on my hands!!! He loves music and can either tap his foot or actually dance to the beat, He's already reciting More Than A Good Man by VBS AGENCY D3 and In Summer from Frozen! He speaks well, we are however, taking him to speech therapy due to Letters S, H, and F. He has trouble pronouncing them and it basically boils down to the time he was tongue tied.

 It's extremely hard to take in that he is almost 3 years old(and he has NO siblings) He LOVES robots, astronauts, dinosaurs and superheroes~That INCLUDES Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He is even a ninja turtle for Halloween. We have a Captain America Mask and an ENTIRE Hulk Costume. This little boy LOVES to dress up and he plays the parts so well!

 He also loves riding his tractor like poppy would ride his. He pretends to mow the lawn and it is funny! I really should invest in a video camera so I can record these moments.
 We still have a little trouble with listening and temper tantrums, but I am 23 and mine haven't completely stopped yet either. lol

Potty Training, School and Bills- OH MY!!!

Yep, you heard right...potty training! First 5 days were amazing! We had 3 accidents the first day, and 1 the second and third day...fourth day, 2 accidents, 5th, none! Now, we are just completely forgetting about it! If I don't take him to the bathroom, he will not go and when he poops, he will take off his underwear, wherever he is, dump the poop on the floor or in the trashcan and continue about his business....how do I find out? Because he leaves his underwear for me to find, his butt covered in poop and is still playing when I come get him to go potty.....HE is definitely all boy!  We have also started sleeping ALMOST all night again in our own bed! He goes straight to sleep, most nights, all by himself:) I thank Jerry for that because I was content with rocking him until he was a teenager.

Jerry's school is going good. Though we literally never see him. He works 7a-7p Saturday and Sunday and then when he gets home he finishes any school work that requires internet. Monday and Wednesday he has school from 10a-215p...He gets home about 330 and then he's doing school work Monday night, Tuesday, Wednesday Night, Thursday and Friday...and honestly, God help anyone who distracts him. *I am being completely honest here* Since starting school, and yes, I understand there is a transition period....He has become quite the butt. I continue to pray daily, now it has become multiple times a day....that he starts seeing how he treats his family and changes, but I am beginning to doubt he will. Last week, he spent a total of 4 hours with Logan...and it was mainly because I had Jerry keep Logan when I went grocery shopping with Mom.
 I am seriously wearing thin. I feel like I am doing everything by myself and If I bring anything up about finances or taking a break so that he can spend time with Logan, he goes off. I used to blame his childhood for his actions and in some ways, it is, but after 15-18 years, you should be able to make decisions based on different actions and ways. I'm currently looking for a job again because even though he said I could quit and stay home with Logan, I feel like if I don't, we will never financially be able to do anything. My car has been broken down for roughly 2 months, Logan needs a bigger carseat(I didn't know he outgrew his carseat after 40 inches and 40 pounds, both of which he has met...We need a new stroller, and honestly, we need a place of our own. I love my parents, but comments are starting to be made, and I do ask for some of them, but I still hear them talking when I have left the room. I just don't know what to do anymore. Do I love him, Yes. Do I love the way he acts and treats me about things? No......

Catching Up

We have moved back in with my parents....We are DONE having roommates- horrible experiences every time we have them. I started working at O2B kids in April and have quit since July 27th. IT was honestly wearing on mine and Jerry's relationship and I truly missed being a stay at home mom. Jerry starts school the 18th to pursue an education in Environmental Sciences. Logan is being mouthy as ever and has learned to say "SHUT UP" so we are quickly correcting that!

 Things are slowly getting better for us. Jerry and I are still fighting off and on, And Logan is still as determined as ever to figure out how the world works lol. He has become the brightest little boy I know.

Logan's 2

So, Logan has already turned 2...Had a nice Mickey Mouse party at moms and he was ecstatic! The "terrific twos" have kicked in and he is definitely a handful. I put him to bed one night a couple nights ago and when he woke up, I had a very verbal child! He is putting words together to make sentences and just putting names to every object in the house...and MOST OF THEM ARE CORRECT! If something scares him its a RAWR, if something looks like a horse(cow, donkey), It's a yeehaw...even cowboys and cowboy hats are yeehaws!

Update:)

Logan hit 2 years January 25th! He is extremely active and has cut out naps. He runs around from about 10:30 in the morning until about 9 at night. I really have no idea where he gets his energy from...with less than 6 hours I am a zombie lol. Jerry has been working at the sawmill for almost a year now- though not without some injuries. First his shoulder, which has been bothering him since teenhood and the other day was sent home due to an injury to his back. Luckily, it was just a pulled lumbar muscle and was able to return to work today. Budgeting is getting easier, but the paychecks get smaller than usual some weeks. It's rained so much that the wood is wetter than usual. Which means, Jerry's department can't exactly do anything BLAH!!!! We still make ends meet and we thank God every day for that. Logan has gone from toddler bed to a twin size race car bed- he loves his vroom... we actually have done his room in race car theme. Still looking for a wall paper that is cheap and childproof. He is going to eventually have a track going throughout his room.

 He is getting so big! I believe he is 3' 2" and about 35-36 pounds. Definitely into 3t clothes now:) He's loving going to the park and playing on nice days, he loves it when mommy and daddy are both around. He loves talking to us in the car and he especially loves taking daddys vroom(car) whenever possible! We are currently attempting potty training, which is slow... some days he is all about the potty and other days he isnt but we will get there. He's very vocal right now and his favorite person is Poppi. No matter what, he has to be near him, whether it's tinkering around in the garage or watching tv. Unless, Mawmaw is making cookies!